I listened to a sermon by a pastor named James
Mangum (Austin Stone Community Church) this morning. He spoke a
powerful and convicting word on James 4: 13-17. The message can more or less be summed up in this quote, "
We say 'Here's my plan and God I'm going to invite you in on the journey. Bless me and walk with me.' And then, when we sense that we don't get what we want, we start to question his character." He didn't say it, but the implication was that we feel the greatest loss when we question God's character.
If you don't believe in a personal God that knows and loves you better than you know yourself, perhaps this message will be lost on you; please read on regardless. But if you feel
that love, even for an instant, you will know it's true. Latch on to it, or in the words of Chris Tucker from the movie Friday (didn't think you'd see a Friday reference in a Christian blog did you?), "write it down, take a picture, I don't give a f***." Just remember it, because you will have times where that memory feels distant, or when you forget how real you once knew that relationship is.
As the pastor pointed out, these times of disconnection, and thus questioning, come when God's plan doesn't
seem to line up with what we thought it was.
note: let's be perfectly clear, he has a plan, it's laid out in a big black book. There's free copies of it everywhere you go. If we study that and make our plans from that, share and evaluate those plans with others who study the same book, and then turn back and repeat the cycle when the plan seems to change, then we will most likely be okay. I know, easier said than done and I won't even try and tackle that topic in this blog.Even the most sure footed of God's disciples have fallen victim to this same feeling of loss. For Peter, the humiliation, torture and
crucifixion of the all
powerful God-man himself was certainly not how he
envisioned the King to come to power. For John the Baptizer, waiting in jail to be put to death was not the reward he had predicted when he dedicated his life to preaching the coming of the Christ. Both men saw God in Heaven reveal his own
identity in Jesus Christ personally, both men knew Christ was God in the flesh beyond a shadow of a doubt, and both men doubted Him in a way that led to a season of personal
devastation in their own lives.
If we are not
careful, we may turn our faces from God when his plan for us isn't what we thought it would be. If (and He is) God is love, light and glory, then turning away is a turn towards
darkness, depression and
despair. Judas Iscariot betrayed Jesus to death because he became convinced that He was not who he once believed him to be (yes Calvinist readers, I know he likely never loved Christ in the first place, but that is besides this point). The point is that we Christians do the same when we know his love and then we turn from it.
If you don't know God's love, you've probably either stopped reading by now, or are angrily confessing to yourself that I've lost it, you will no longer read this blog, and will choose to act strangely around me the next time we meet. The truth is, were I asked directly, yes, I worry for you and I want you to know the comfort Jesus Christ has given me in faith. But that doesn't mean I am unable to be around you without viewing you through some Christian judgement lens; I have a gazillion sins of my own that I need to work through. I am called to let you know the message of the gospel if you are willing to listen. Your fate is between you and God, I play no part other than that of a messenger. He he wants you to know him, and to live a life for him, I believe he will make that happen. Only then will I anticipate you wanting similar things in life as I do, as he has helped me to want.
To give an analogy that will likely bristle you a bit, lets say that you see a blind man walking down a busy sidewalk without his red tipped stick. You wouldn't judge that man for walking in a winding path as he reached for something to guide his way. You wouldn't condemn them for bumping into you, or stepping on your foot. You would expect nothing less from someone that could not see what you could. You would either reach out to help them, which is what I believe the sharing of the gospel message is, or you would continue on your way unaffected by his plight. Confident that he will find his own way. Is it
arrogant to place myself in the role of the seeing good
Samaritan that lends a helping hand? I imagine it would seem that way. But if you were the seeing good
Samaritan, would you cross the street and leave them be because you wouldn't want to offend their
perspective? There's a good chance that this man would not want your help. That it would damage their pride to be offered assistance from some stranger that doesn't see it from their perspective. There is also a chance that they have been waiting for someone to offer a helping hand for a long time.
Interestingly, I set out to write a short message about letting God set the course of our life and not clinging to our own well intentioned plans. It think I ended up giving a broken down version of an alter call instead. But God works in
mysterious ways and I think it might go against the spirit of this letter in the first place to go back and tailor what I've written to suit my intended message.
In short, I'd love to chat if you would. I would be happy to have you tell me why I'm wrong and how
surprised you are that I could fall for this Christianity thing. Provided that you continue talking to me. That you choose to not judge me the same way that I don't judge you.
Father I pray, not for my will, not for our will, but for Yours.
- until next time
James 4, 13-17: "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."